Of Wise Women &...Wipstick

To save my self-esteem, I will not mention (again!) that I'm an undisciplined blogger. Thank you for accomodating me:)

In my world, it's officially the Christmas season. And for those of you who I can hear grumbling about how it's "not even Thanksgiving!", I would just like to state that the commercial world agrees with me. Christmas music and decorations are out out out! So I feel my early spirit is justified. Anyway, in honor of the approaching season...


Hello, my name is Allie, and I'm a professional Christmas pageant performer. I had my first role a little less than sixteen years ago, when I played Baby Jesus at just 6 days old.
But as it turned out, this was only the beginning of my Nativity career. Eight years later I would finally get the role every little girl dreams of playing--Mary, mother of Jesus. (Who doesn't want to be someone so important people think they see her in their toast?) It just so happend I was also the director of this particular presentation. I had a cast of three--my sister Lindsay, cousin Rebecca, and myself. As the director, I was also in charge of the giving the roles. The only stipulation was that there was to be no cross-gender casting. So, in the end, our list of characters ended up looking something like this:

Mary, mother of Jesus--Portrayed as a girl with a passion for very red lipstick, eyes watching the ceiling the entire play. No lines, but many whispered directions to the rest of the cast. Costumed in a toga-like garment made of a blanket with another blanket draped over her head. She should wear a very affected and pious expression, except when giving last minute direction to the other performers.

Angel--Portrayed as a slightly flustered girl who frequently asks Mary what's going on. Also has a deep love for very red lipstick, sometimes has a ring of tinsel around her head. Costumed in the Samantha nightgown she got last Christmas.

Wise Woman--Portrayed as the third member to the very red lipstick trio, performance slightly echoes angel's. Has an even smaller role than anticipated, very confused about her entrances and exits. Costumed in Angel's last Halloween costume, a gothic princess outfit. (The outfit was the main incentive for the role.) [I happen to be with the actress who originated this role. She would like me to mention her remarkably believable performance and her fabulous line delivery--"I am the Wise Woman!!!!!"]

(Note: This particular Nativity does NOT contain: God, Joseph, a real baby, shepherds, more than one "wise person", an inkeeper, or any animals.)

To put on a replica performance, you will also need:
-A scribbled over refrigerator box, for the stable
-An old "bouncy horse", for Mary's donkey
-A mini trampoline, for the Angel to stand on
-A selection of yellow plastic bowling pins, for the star
-One extra bowling pin, wrapped in a blanket, for the baby
-A decorative box full of "frankincense", for the Wise Woman
-A "supportive" audience
-Very red lipstick. Lots of it.


Of course, you will also need a very small cast of very good performers. And a good director, of course--with lots of nativity experience.